


Touch Worth More Than Words

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father Figures, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Missing Scene, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, s02e13 Nightwing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25670407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: "A familiar wave of protectiveness washed over him. Maybe at first he wanted to be left alone but now that she was here, he didn't want her to go. He was willing to put his aching body and grieving heart on hold because she was the one who needed care right now. She needed him, that's why she came here, even if she wasn't going to admit it. She needed him before too, but he wasn't there, too caught up in his own past and present to notice. And he sure as hell wasn't going to make the same mistake ever again."Missing scene from s02e13.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Rachel Roth, Dick Grayson & Raven
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	Touch Worth More Than Words

**Author's Note:**

> Another oneshot for you guys (shorter this time) because I'm bored. I was supposed to work on something else, but this came to me one night and instantly became a priority. I don't feel like this one is my best, but it's up to you to decide. And I feel like I'm kinda repeating myself, but I real wish this conversation happened on the show and I will write it until it becomes canon, I don't care.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Peeling off his suit took longer than he'd want, especially with his injuries. Dick could recognize the craftmanship behind it, this one was definitely better than his previous suit. It sustained most of the damage without a single scratch, but the harderst blows still left marks on his body. He took off his undershirt with a groan and tossed it aside, then turned to the mirror standing in the corner of his bedroom.

A trail of purple bruises climbed up from his stomach through his chest to his right shoulder. He traced them with his fingers, pushing against the skin in some places. Any faster movement hurt, same as deep breathing, so he suspected at least a cracked rib. Thankfully nothing seemed to be poking at his internal organs, so that was a relief.

He didn't dare to look at his face. He knew he was white as a sheet, his cheeks were still wet from crying. He had spend an hour in the infirmary, not able to let go of Donna's hand, feeling her body growing colder even through the fabric of his gloves. He simply couldn't move, frozen in place, seeing but not believing.

Donna was dead.

Even thinking about it pushed the air out of his lungs. Overwhelmed with grief he staggered back, momentarily losing his balance and dropped down at the feet of his bed, bending down to hide his head between his knees. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, trying to collect himself, but he felt like he was falling apart. He didn't even get the chance to talk to her, to explain everything, to apologize. He didn't get to see her side of the story. Last time they spoke she was furious, hurt and betrayed, left him without sparing him even a glance. The rift between them felt like a never ending abyss, a bottomless canyon filled with nothing but pain. 

And now she was gone forever.

He let out a involuntary groan when he heard a knock on the door. All he wanted right now was to be left alone. But he knew no one would bother him unless it was something important so he muttered a low "come in" loud enough for the person to hear it.

To his surprise it was Rachel who stepped through the door, already in her pyjamas and with a shy smile on her face. Something shifted in his heart at the sight.

"Hi." she said quietly, looking a little bit nervous. "I… I just wanted to see if… um… if you're-"

He sent her a warm smile.

"Everything's fine, Rachel. Go back to sleep."

A shadow of fear and anxiety clouded her eyes and her head fell down, as if in disappointment. And then Dick realized his mistake. He was pushing her away again, in the moment when she wanted to reach out, but wasn't sure if she could, or even should, after everything that happened. It was clear she was distressed, probably couldn't sleep and came here for comfort like she used to do before.

"Rachel-"

"No, of course." she cut in, already stepping back to the door. "You're right. It's late, I should be in bed. Sorry to bother-"

"Rach."

Her mouth fell shut, cutting off her nervous rambling and she froze with her hand on the knob. She sucked in a shaky breath and braced her shoulders, looking very much like a deer caught in headlights.

A familiar wave of protectiveness washed over him. Maybe at first he wanted to be left alone but now that she was here, he didn't want her to go. He was willing to put his aching body and grieving heart on hold because she was the one who needed care right now. She needed  _ him _ , that's why she came here, even if she wasn't going to admit it. She needed him before too, but he wasn't there, too caught up in his own past and present to notice. And he sure as hell wasn't going to make the same mistake ever again.

So he reached out, slowly extending his open hand to her while biting back a groan when his bruised ribs screamed in protest. Instead he gave her his softest smile, corners of his lips lifting up slightly. And with his heart almost breaking out of his chest, realizing he's actually scared of what her reaction might be, he whispered tenderly.

"Just come here."

For a brief moment Rachel hesitated, biting her lip while looking down at her feet and Dick felt his heart sinking. But then she drew another breath, deep and shuddering, and her hand slipped from the door, fingers pushing it to close. She took one step towards him, then another and with each one Dick saw the walls she had put up around herself in these past few weeks crumble down, one by one. And then her chin started to tremble as tears poured down her round cheeks and she collapsed into his open arms with a violent sob ripping out of her lips.

He pulled her close, not giving a damn about his injuries and circled his arms around her body. His heart broke when he felt her trembling against him and he closed his eyes, trying to push down a lump rising in his throat.

"Oh, honey…" he whispered softly when she let out another painful cry, desperately trying to press herself to him even closer. It reminded him of the first time he held her, back in that abandoned building in Detroit. She had thrown herself at him with just as much force, longing for protection and they were nothing but strangers back then. Now, after everything they've been through, holding her in his arms felt as natural as breathing - like she was an integral part of him that's been missing this whole time and it was finally back in its rightful place, exactly where it belongs. 

He lifted his hand up to cup the back of her head, slowly running his fingers through her hair, while his other arm curled itself around her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. Rachel was shaking like a leaf, falling apart at the seams and to Dick it felt like no matter how tight he held her it still wasn't enough to keep her together. 

"Shh, it's okay." he whispered to her ear, his hand stroking her hair. "I'm here, Rach. Right here."

"Dick…" 

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, sobbing his name like a broken record. Her nails scratched the skin on his back when she gripped him tighter, clawing at him to keep herself close. His hold on her was so tight already he was starting to fear he will crush her. He felt her heart beating against his chest, its speed almost matching his own.

"I'm sorry." she cried out, her hoarse, broken voice barely audible. Her tears fell on his skin, heavy drops rolling down his collarbone. "I'm so sorry, Dick."

Memories flashed before his eyes, but they weren't his own. It was Rachel, showing him what she meant because talking about it was too much. He saw her struggling with her powers, felt her fear and hesitation everytime a thought about telling him crossed her mind. He saw himself through her eyes, falling deeper into guilt and madness with each step he took, followed by her growing confusion, worry and in the end anger. He saw the team falling apart, slowly drifting away from each other and Rachel in the middle of it all, the moment she couldn't take it anymore and decided it was enough, using Donna as a way to escape. She was scared to even look him in the eyes, avoided him like a plague, wanting to run away from all of this as fast as possible.

Dick squeezed his eyes shut and pressed a kiss to her temple, feeling his own tears coming up. His guilt came back with the speed of light, threatening to crush him like a ton of bricks.

"I'm sorry, too." he choked out, his face buried in her hair. "I'm sorry, Rachel. For everything."

Another shiver ran through body when she took a shuddering breath, trying to keep her tears at bay and he squeezed her a bit tighter, stroking his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion. He wanted to say more, but his words failed him, so he tried the next best thing he could do - he poured out all of his emotions, opening his heart and mind to her, inviting her in. He showed her the weight of his guilt, how he's been slowly breaking apart under it for these past five years until he couldn't take it anymore, his regret over past and recent events, his fear of failing the kids, her especially. He had bared it all, leaving nothing behind, opened the door to his soul for her.

Rachel took the invitation and stepped right through it.

She melted deeper into his embrace and continued to weep, shaking terribly in his arms. And he held her through it all, pulling her close to his chest, slowly rocking her back and forth. After a while he realized he was crying too, his own tears slowly rolling down his face and damping the fabric of her shirt on her shoulder. He had been keeping it all in for so long that now the relief of this release felt overwhelming. 

"I never should've left." she mumbled into his shoulder after a while, when her cries died down a bit. "Maybe then you wouldn't-"

"Please, don't." he begged breathlessly. "Don't blame yourself for my mistakes."

She leaned away a little to look at him and the sight shattered his heart again. Pale face, wet cheeks, bloodshot eyes filled with so much pain and despair. 

"You shouldn't take the fault for others either."

Dick didn't have a reply to that. He knew she was right. But it's been like this for so long he just couldn't do it any different. What happened to Jericho had always been his burden to bare and his alone. 

But he was willing to try to let go. It was time to stop living in the past. Jericho was alive and he had forgiven Dick a long time ago. Now Dick had to forgive himself.

He lifted his hands to cup Rachel's face and brush away her tears. Just now he could see how tired she really was. She could barely stand on her feet, eyelids drooping from time to time. 

Still stroking her cheek with his thumb while his other arm slipped around her waist, he asked quietly.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah…" she nodded, bringing her hand up to rest it on his wrist.

"Nightmares?" he guessed again and she bowed her head, biting her trembling lip. It took a moment but she slowly nodded again, not looking at him. 

He moved his fingers under her chin and gently lifted her head up, hugging her tighter at the same time.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Rachel hesitated briefly but a moment later took a deep breath and blinked away her tears.

"It all started while I was… away." she spoke slowly. "I was at a funeral. Your name… your name was on the gravestone."

She started trembling again and he pulled her to him, letting her sit in his lap. She seemed so small in his arms, so little when she leaned her head on his shoulder and Dick felt his throat closing again. She was just a child and she's already been through so much. 

"But you were there too." she continued while he curled his arms around her. "Standing there in a suit and tie, begging me not to give up. And- and then-"

It was getting harder to speak for her, voice breaking on every other word. She tried really hard not to cry again.

Dick pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and hugged her tighter.

"Maybe try to show me." he suggested. "It will be easier."

An image of his gravestone filled his vision, along with his own voice saying  _ don't give up _ urgently. He saw Rachel grabbing his hand, then a flash of some side road diner and Elko neon sign.

And then… blood. Its deep red color. The smell. The amount of it, dripping from his mouth. Falling from his chest. A sharp, wide blade running right through his heart. Deathstroke wielding it, standing behind him.

And Rachel's horrifying scream. 

"I was so scared." she whispered when the vision ended, curling closer into him. Her small hand rested on his chest, fingers brushing the skin where she had seen the blade. "I tried to call you, but the box was full and- I wanted to find you, but no one wanted to help me, only Kory… You were in prison but we came too late and- God, Dick. It was so scary."

She broke down again, sobbing violently into his shoulder and he tightened his arms around her, swaying her slowly.

"Shh, I'm here." he whispered to her ear. "It's okay, baby. It was just a dream."

"I thought I was gonna lose you."

He kissed her head again, burying his nose in her hair.

"You're not losing me." he promised. "It wasn't real, okay? Rach, it wasn't real."

"But it could've been!" she argued helplessly. "And I keep seeing it every time I close my eyes."

Another sob wrecked her body and she curled herself closer against his chest. Dick pressed his hand to her back and started stroking it slowly, hoping it will help her calm down.

"My little girl… Shh, I'm here, baby. Right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

He brushed his fingers over her cheek again and leaned in, giving her forehead another kiss. Then one on her brow, one on her cheek, leaving a salty drop on his lips, and one on the tip of her nose, which made her smile. It lasted only a second, but it felt like the sun came out of the clouds after days of raining. Rachel opened her eyes and locked them with his. His hand went up to her hair, tucking it behind her ear.

"Rachel, I promise you - you are not losing me, okay? Not now, not ever. I'm sorry I put you through this, I really am. But never again, I swear."

She nodded slowly, then leaned against him again, nuzzling her face into his neck. She kept breathing deeply, her chest rising and falling slowly. Thankfully her tears stopped falling and Dick let out a sigh of relief. They stayed like this, in silence, for several minutes. Rachel was completely still and for a moment Dick was sure she had fallen asleep. But then her tiny voice reached his ear when she mumbled into his neck. 

"I've missed you."

Such simple words, yet held so much meaning. It wasn't just about these last few days - she must have missed him a lot longer than that. His mind took him back to these first weeks in the Tower, when they were trying to get used to this new life. Making breakfast together, quick trips for coffee before training, getting her out of bed early in the morning for a run in the park.

Pressing his lips to her forehead again, he murmured against her skin.

"I've missed you, too."

"You're hurt." she said, staring down at red and purple bruises covering his chest and stomach as if she just now noticed them. He had forgotten about his injuries, focusing entirely on Rachel, only feeling dull throbbing while moving.

"As it happens after a fight. Don't worry, Rach. I'll take care of this in the morning-"

"No, let me." she interrupted him and before he had time to protest, her hand started glowing and she pressed it to his chest. All bruises immediately started fading, pain gone in an instant under her healing touch. Rachel drew a deep breath and smiled, then fell against him again, closing her eyes. Dick grabbed her hand and pressed her fingers to his lips.

"Thank you." he whispered, looking her in the eyes. "But you're already so tired, honey. You didn't have to-"

"It's the least I could do." she breathed out, cuddling closer to him. "And don't worry, Dick. I'll sleep it off."

He ran fingers through her hair.

"Let's get you to bed, then. C'mon."

"Here?"

He couldn't help but smile. Those little, half closed eyes and sleepy voice made her look so much younger than fourteen. He had a good feeling he'll never be able to see her as anything but a little girl.  _ His _ little girl.

"Yeah, here." he chuckled. "C'mon, lay down, baby girl."

Rachel slipped under the covers, curling herself into a ball in the middle of the bed and he tucked her in, pulling the quilt right up to her chin. 

"Try to sleep, okay?" he told her, leaning in to kiss her head. "Quick shower and I'm right back."

"Mhmm."

When he returned few minutes later, in fresh clothes and smelling of toothpaste and shower gell, he found her laying on her back with wide eyes staring at the ceiling. Guess the nightmare wasn't going away - not when she was left alone at least. 

He laid down next to her and instantly pulled her close, tucking her under his chin protectively. She let out a sigh of relief and melted into his embrace, slipping her arms around his waist.

"Don't let go." she murmured into his chest and he squeezed her tighter, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm not letting go, honey. Promise."

She slept through the night without any nightmares haunting her. Dick woke up few times just to check but her sleep was peaceful and undisturbed. Exhaustion finally caught up to her and he let her stay in bed well into the morning, giving her as much time to rest as possible. After all, she needed it a lot more than he did. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. Kudos and comments as always appreciated. Make sure to check out my other works if you liked this one. And come say hi on my Tumblr @not-so-mundane-after-all-97 !  
> SEE YA!


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